I am here today to bring a ray of light to those who are afraid of commitment and the responsibilities of marriage: a relationship is successful and always adventurous if you have chosen the right person for you. The right person is not the perfect human being,(good luck finding that one), look at yourself! Are you perfect? In my opinion, it is better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. As the amazing Cuban poet Dulce Ma. Loynaz wrote: “I do not change my loneliness for a litte bit of love… No cambio mi soledad por un poco de amor…”
What happens very often is that we fall in love with the idea we have of someone. We have no clue who the person really is, we “think” it is the one we are looking for because we like a few things about the person or because we think the time for marriage has arrived. Let’s not forget that we are always looking for something, even when we are in a relationship. That “something” could be support when going through hard times, a good laugh or simply a hug. That “something” could also mean changing and growing together. Unfortunately, many couples take a different path during their relationship and they become the opposite of what they are looking for to be happy.
Do not dispair! It is totally normal to keep searching or not to search at all. The first thing we need to achieve is happiness within ourselves. No one can totally help us with that. Everything in your life will fall into the right place once you feel happy with yourself. Even at the time you have to make an important decision you will be more relaxed and confident.
Today I feel happy for the couple I chose not 8 years ago but almost a decade ago. I prefer not to count too much as I do not think the amount of years gives us a special category or score in the relationship. Actually, I believe we should not forget the feelings and care that brought us together since the first day and connected us even more later.
We are all different and that is a wonderful thing but there are general aspects that should match in order to coexist with another human being. You probably do not want to share your life with someone who does not have anything in common with you or does not tolerate the way you are. I have seen couples that are destined to fail because their life views are so different that they cannot agree about almost anything. It is very sad but very common. For example: A person who is very social and has a boyfriend/girlfriend who does not understand the need for spending time with friends every weekend or every other weekend. The relationship might last a while but one of the partners is going to feel unhappy about the state of things. Not everyone expects the same out of a long-term relationship.
If you are lucky enough to find someone that gets you without words there are a lot of possibilities for that person and you to create your own relationship rules and emergency alarms. You will both succeed at having a unique bond and will feel satisfied about your love life. No relationship comes with instructions to follow or the promise of a problem-free road but it is up to you how you feed and contribute to your happiness and stability.
I raise my glass tonight to celebrate my love and to have the strength and vision to keep it bright and healthy!
Also published on Medium.
